10 Ways to Get Closer to Your Partner
1. Number crunching: Switch ‘69’ for ‘64’
The classic ‘69’ position is supposed to offer couples equal rights to oral delights, but all too often this is a number that just doesn’t add up to optimum enjoyment!
Why not recalculate your sexual arithmetic and try the more practical ‘64’ position? One partner lays on their back, while the other straddles their torso, facing away from them with a knee either side of their body. The lover on top then bends down to perform oral sex, whilst raising their bottom into the air; their back and thighs form a ‘V’ shape while their shins remain flat on the bed – a little like a number 4 tipped forward.
In a ‘64’, the lower partner should use their hands (or a vibrating toy) to stroke their lover from behind. This allows them access to some highly sensitive areas of the body, leading to intoxicatingly exciting new sensations. Try alternating between running your palms and your tips of your fingers over the backs of the thighs and buttocks, or rubbing the perineum (the zone between the anus and scrotum or labia) in tiny circular motions.
2. Material girls (and boys)
It’s a well-known (and excellent) move to slide a pillow underneath a woman’s bottom during sex, to help raise her hips and pelvis to a feel-good angle. Take things a step further by using a cushion with a tactile cover on it instead; try sleek satin, fake fur, or even daring PVC. Investing in a variety of washable cushion covers is a quick, easy and budget-friendly way to play with different material textures in bed.
You could also pop a flat, disc-shaped Durex Sensual Bliss vibrator underneath the fabric of a pillow’s case to create a brand new soft, buzzing toy, which she can ‘ride’ between her thighs or lay on for added stimulation during penetration.
3. Suite talk
Increasing sensitivity in the bedroom isn’t just about enhancing physical sensations – it’s also about being sensitive to your lover’s moods, desires, tastes and emotions. Obviously, no partner should ever do anything they don’t want to. However, there may be times when you’re more tired than your other half, but are happy to make the effort to be intimate because you know it matters to them. Balancing sexual give-and-take is a key part of a healthy relationship, and ensures that both partners feel looked after, fulfilled and appreciated, and assured that their lover is genuinely sensitive to their feelings and needs.
A light hearted way to ensure that both of you are equally catered for is to each keep a suite of playing cards on your bedside tables: one of you is diamonds, the other clubs. Every time your lover indulges you, give them a card. If, at the end of each month, one of you holds a much larger hand than the other, it may be time to discuss how the more ‘giving’ partner could be better satisfied.
4. ...And exquisite exhalations
Dial back your foreplay and begin by using barely-there breaths as a sensual tool to stimulate your lover’s body. This will prompt them to concentrate fully on every subtle feeling, fully awakening their skin’s sensitivity.
Try beginning your lovemaking with contactless caresses. Lay your naked partner down on the bed, and hover your mouth over their body. Exhale slowly and ever so slightly harder than usual so that they can feel the heat of each breath on their skin, taking care never to actually make contact. Follow the curve of their neck and shoulders; sweep up and down their legs, and along their spine. Up the tension by breathing over their private parts and nipples (perhaps blowing softly too). The gentle flow of air against their skin will feel tantalising, while knowing your lips are so close to their flesh without touching will be a big tease!
Mix things up by painting a ‘treasure trail’ onto your partner’s skin using Durex Play Tingling pleasure gel, and then follow it with your breath. The lubes’ sensations are enhanced by the flow of air.
5. A breath of fresh air...
Deliberately focusing on the air travelling in and out of your lungs can be as crucial to incredible sex as any other ‘in and out’ motions! Paying attention to your own breathing patterns can hugely ramp up the sensitivity of your body and the intensity of your orgasms.
To get in the right mindset and make sure you’re both aware of your breaths during sex, you and your partner might want to start by sitting or lying facing each other, making eye contact and maybe holding hands, both breathing deep into your bellies; see if you can sync your lungs in tandem. It helps decrease stress, aids relaxation, and delivers more oxygen into the bloodstream – and having a system surging with plenty of O2 can be the key to an amazing ‘Big O’!
Try to keep breathing deeply and consciously during play and penetration. Experiment with whether you inhale and exhale through your nose or mouth, and see if breathing faster or slower changes the sensations in your pelvic area. Some people find that panting or making their inbreaths sharper as they approach climax can nudge them over into a spectacular orgasm.
6. A helping hand
Women are constantly told that men’s testicles are incredibly sensitive, but it’s easy to get the impression that they’re so fragile that even the slightest, lightest touch may cause pain. As a result, lots of ladies are so worried about accidentally hurting their lovers that they avoid handling their balls at all. This is a shame, as a careful caress can have a guy seeing stars for all the right reasons.
Experiment with cupping and downward stroking motions, taking things slowly and gently. Avoid pressure or squeezing unless your partner specifically tells you they enjoy this. You’ll notice that there’s a ‘join’ or ‘line’ running down the centre of the scrotum – running a soft fingertip all the way along this can feel dreamy. As well as providing delectable new sensations for him, it will enhance trust between the both of you.
Pay close attention to your partner’s reactions as you touch him. You can ask him to rate how intense each action feels on a scale of 1 to 5, where ‘1’ is ‘easily manageable’ and ‘5’ is ‘overwhelming’. Having clear communication like this is an invaluable boudoir skill, and can be applied to all sorts of experimentation!
7. Teasing tummy turn-ons
They say that a man’s stomach is the way to his heart – but did you know that massaging his tummy during sex can heighten the sensitivity of his parts, too? And that the same can work for women?
Try using the flats of your palms, one after the other, to stroke your partner’s stomach during intercourse while you’re on top. Start by placing your hand just above their pubic hair, then move upwards over their bellybutton, before starting again at the base of their tummy. Make your movements smooth, but fairly firm. This will pull lightly against the skin of their pelvic region, making it tauter and more sensitive. The repeated motions of pulling upwards and releasing mimic the clenching and throbbing or orgasm – and can bring a climax on.
8. The couples count `n` cover
‘Invisible’ is Durex’s thinnest ever latex condom which already offers truly supreme sensitivity, but to enhance sensation even further and make ‘getting dressed for sex’ something that’s genuinely electrifying rather than just essential, try putting one on together, using two pairs of hands. The man should kneel on the bed, with his partner kneeling behind him. As he begins to slip on the condom, she can reach around his hips and help smooth it down his shaft. As well as feeling delicious, the visual of her fingers as well as his wrapped around his member will look stunning to him.
Another option is to try counting very slowly to ten while putting on a Durex Invisible, and ban your lover from touching you until you hit double figures – they can only watch. This way, the brief pause created by sliding on a condom isn’t an ‘interruption’ to the flow of sex, but a way of actively building anticipation and creating a tantalising moment of tease.
9. Raspberry ripples
Don’t restrict balms and salves just to your lips – they also work fantastically on nips! Applying a dab of fruity berry lip balm to your nipples moisturises them, enhances their colour, and tastes great for your lover to kiss and suck. You could also try tracing circles around your partner’s nipples with a spearmint chapstick for a mild, fizzy cooling sensation.
Remember that vibrators aren’t exclusively for use in the genital area. If you or your lover has sensitive nipples, try teasing them with a small, pointed bullet vibe like the Durex Endless Touch, designed for pinpoint stimulation to heighten sensitivity further. Some women can even achieve an orgasm through nipple play alone, so it’s worth exploring the nipples as more than just a foreplay pit stop on the way to full penetration.
10. Carousel Kissing
This is a simple foreplay game that allows you and your lover to take turns as to which one of you is in control, while simultaneously playing with different surfaces to heighten your sensitivity to touch.
With both of you standing up - topless, naked or just in your underwear - the woman should begin by kissing her partner, at the same time gently pushing him backwards against a surface or wall.
After a little while, the ‘kissing carousel’ should spin: rotate so that the gent is now in command of the kisses. Spin again every few minutes – but aim to back your partner up against a new surface every time, to enliven the nerves in their shoulders and spine. Try leaning against the cool, smooth glass of a window, let yourselves be enveloped within plush velvet curtains, or back into a fur coat, silken dressing gown or feather boa hanging up on a door, and savour the sensation of moving against the fabric as you embrace.