Telling a small white lie to calm your partner or keep the peace is just fine, and even necessary at times, to keep your relationship grooving in a good direction. Under certain circumstances, a lie is the right way to go even if it feels a little wrong. But when should you fib and when should you tell the truth? Read on for five times when it might be okay to tell a lie.
When You're Stressing
He may ask, "What's wrong?" and you reply, "Nothing babe." Even though something is bothering you, all you really want from your partner is closeness. You may not want to rehash your problems – whether they personal, work-related or other – at the moment so shield him from your stressors that he can’t make disappear anyway. It's a win-win. He doesn't get agitated, and you get the affection you crave now.
During Petty Arguments
Everyone has one of those disagreements that wasn't worth it. Sometimes saying, "you're right" – even though you don’t believe it – is the only way to get past an argument and move on. Avoid silly spats that turn into larger arguments where insults fly by acquiescing. Where to order take out from isn’t worth the fight anyway.
When You're Enjoying Alone Time
Though you love spending time with him, you also enjoy your “me time.” When you are enjoying your alone time, it’s okay to fib and say “I miss you." Saying “I miss you” (though you may be having a great time rejuvenating) simply helps reinforce the security you’ve built into your relationship. As long as your deep-rooted feelings of love ring true, your little white lie doesn't mean a thing.
When You Don't Quite "Get It"
We’ve all been there. After an exhausting day, your partner comes home and tells you about all the day’s grievances. Even when you don't know the people he’s speaking about or don’t quite understand his complaints, you may feign understanding to let your partner know that you've got his back, and you're standing by his side. Words of empathy go a long way when cultivating a serious relationship. While it's impossible to always know how your partner feels, you can try and put yourself in his place and give him a loving embrace.
When You Want to Spare Your Partner's Feelings
Broadcasting your thoughts – or saying everything that pops into your mind – could put a serious damper on your relationship. Pointing out when a T-shirt isn’t exactly flattering or when your partner gains a pound or two could cause unnecessary friction. Be sincere without unleashing fleeting judgments. By telling a small fib like, “You look perfect as usual,” you’re sparing your partner’s feelings. And that’s fine because you’re doing it for love.
About the Author
Zoe Wilder is a writer with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature from the College of William & Mary, and a Master of Social Work from Fordham University. Her work has been published in The Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Kinkly, MindBodyGreen, URB,‘SUP Magazine, Vault, Brooklyn Exposed, and Thought Catalog.