Enticing your partner once you're married is just as important as it was when you were dating. So, make it a priority to keep your intimate life going strong. Whether it's been a while since you initiated bedroom play or your partner is a bit shy and could use some coaxing, add some seduction strategies to your relationship toolbox for deeper connectedness and heightened passion.
Plan morning play
Morning can be a great time for intimacy, as you both wake up rested and he’s more likely to be physically ready – which makes arousal a great option for everyone. Set your alarm at least 30 minutes early, then take a few minutes to freshen up enough to feel ready yourself. Have a few sips of java and wash your face, for example, and brush your teeth. Then gently kiss and caress him awake in all the right places. If your body still isn't as awake as he is, ask him to help perk your sexy parts up. Simply hearing the request lets him know you woke up thinking of him and can be a major turn on.
Write spicy notes
Words can be powerfully arousing. Slip a romantic note into his briefcase, car or wallet in the morning, letting him know how much you love him, and how eager you are to feel his body close. He'll have all day to think about your words – as will you – and little revs the lovemaking engine like anticipation. For added spice, kiss the note while wearing lipstick or text him an accompanying photo of your kiss-ready lips. If you won't see each other for a few days or more, send daily emails or text messages letting him know he’s always top-of-mind. By the time you reunite, you'll both be ultra-ready for intimate play.
Whisper sweet somethings
Take your sexy messages a step further by whispering them into his ear. For added enticement, do so discreetly while you’re out in public – such as at dinner with friends. You can also phone your fantasies in while you’re apart. If he doesn't pick up, leave a tantalizing voicemail. You can either tell him what you’re imagining for the two of you later, or what you enjoyed most about the last time you made love. Pointing out what turns you on about him can boost his confidence, and gratitude goes a long way in building and keeping connectedness.
Massage away stress
Relaxation and physical touch set the stage for physical and emotional intimacy. After a particularly long workday or week, surprise your partner by booking couple's massages. To try it DIY-style at home: Light candles and play romantic music for ambiance, then take turns caressing each others' bodies on your bed or sofa. Let the sensual rubbing lead where it will. To get the lovemaking-ball rolling, end his massage by kissing his back, chest and shoulders – working your way up or down, as you wish.
Making out should never become a lost art. Whether you're a newlywed or have been married for years, surprise your partner with a deep, sensual kiss. The spontaneity, physical touch and romance will entice you both. Kiss him before you both leave for work in the morning as a hint at what you can both anticipate for later. For added eroticism, put your body into the kiss, holding your partner tightly. For later fun, keep the TV and other electronics off after dinner and declare make-out time as dessert.
Dress to feel sexy
Confidence is hugely attractive – boost yours by donning apparel that makes you feel sexy. For a modest but still steamy look, meet him in the doorway of your living room or bedroom wearing a well-fitted bra and cute boy-shorts. If you're a lingerie gal, go with a lacier option. Add heels if they make you feel extra seductive, and a silky robe to drop in front of him for added spark. If you're feeling shy, share one glass of wine over dinner to take the edge off before disrobing. For flattering lighting, use candles to enhance the look and mood, but remember, he loves you just the way you are.
You know your partner best. Prioritize his preferences as you plot ways to light his fire. If you're unsure where to start, have a conversation. Share your fantasies and inquire about his. The more you explore bedroom adventures and ideas together, the more you're likely to grow intimately as a couple. If an idea doesn't go as planned, give yourselves an A for effort; laughing it off or learning from it will make it worthwhile. When all goes well, savor it – and keep it in mind for future fun.
- Best Health: Relationship Advice: The Benefits of Morning Sex
- Psychology Today; Holiday Sex, Romance, and Gratitude Enhance Intimacy
- Sex and Psychology: The Power Of Touch: The Crucial Role Of Physical Intimacy In Relationships Focus on the Family: Eight Tips for Kissing Toward a More Passionate Marriage
- She Knows: 14 Tips to Look, Better Naked
About the Author
August McLaughlin is a health and sexuality writer and certified nutritionist in Los Angeles. Her work is featured in numerous magazines including "Healthy Aging," "CitySmart," "DAME" and "I AmThat Girl". She holds specializations in eating disorders, healthy weight management and sports nutrition and loves connecting with readers and writers via her blog, Facebook and Twitter.