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Foreplay 101: The Best Foreplay Tips to Try

It is a widely accepted fact that orgasms differ significantly between men and women. Whilst the male orgasm is in many respects a ‘push-button response’, easily turned on by sight, touch, or suggestion; the female orgasm can be a far more complex matter.

For most women, sex can be an emotional process just as much as it is physical. Understanding this difference goes a long way in explaining the so-called 'orgasm gap' between men and women. Knowing this truth can help to improve your sex life, and help understand how to connect with your partner and trigger these emotional feelings during foreplay. Here are a few foreplay tips to help enhance desire and connection during intimate moments.

Show your interests

Sex in a loving relationship is about pleasure for both partners, not just meeting the end result; so show your partner how much they mean to you through kisses and touches that pleasure you both.

Whether it’s experimenting or sticking to your normal routine, foreplay can aid in increasing an orgasm, especially for women. To make foreplay more enjoyable, try various techniques. Whether it's sensual kisses or body massages, take your time and do not rush the process for a longer, lasting sexual experience.

Compliment her

Women can feel led to believe, through movies and magazines, that their role is to maintain a ‘sexy’ body, which will make them more desirable to men. This perception can leave many women feeling preoccupied during sex worrying about how they look to themselves or their partner, rather than focusing on the experience.

All of this extra stress and overthinking may make it less likely that she will orgasm, as she struggles to relax. It is, therefore, her partner’s role to reassure her that she is attractive to help get rid of any lingering self-doubts and insecurities. Be sure to tell her what you love about her body and take the time to touch and stroke parts of her body to show her that you really mean it. Even if your partner isn’t body-conscious, a compliment will always be well received.

Communicate with her

When it comes to enhancing your intimate experiences like foreplay, open communication is extremely important. Engaging in an honest and respectful conversation about desires, boundaries, and fantasies can transform your foreplay and overall intimacy. Here's how to connect with your partner with open communication about foreplay and intimacy:

Create a Safe Space: Initiate the conversation in an environment where both you and your partner feel comfortable and secure. Let them know that your intention is to explore and understand each other better.

Share Your Desires: Start by sharing your own desires and fantasies. This vulnerability can encourage your partner to reciprocate. Be open about what you find pleasurable, whether it's a specific touch, a role-play scenario, or a hidden fantasy you've always wanted to explore.

Ask Open-ended Questions: Instead of focusing solely on the physical aspects, ask open-ended questions that delve into emotional and psychological aspects as well. Questions like, "What makes you feel desired?" or "What kinds of experiences ignite your passion?" can reveal deeper insights into your partner's desires.

Discuss Boundaries: Alongside desires, discussing boundaries is equally important. Establish a clear understanding of what is off-limits or uncomfortable for each of you. This creates an atmosphere of respect and consent.

Be Non-Judgmental: As your partner opens up, maintain a non-judgmental attitude. Every individual's desires and fantasies are unique. Respect their thoughts and feelings, even if they differ from your own.

Plan and Experiment: Once you have a better grasp of each other's preferences, plan activities that incorporate these newfound desires. Experimentation can lead to exciting discoveries and build anticipation for your shared intimate moments.

Check-in Regularly: Open communication is an ongoing process. Check-in with each other regularly to ensure that your desires and boundaries remain aligned. As your relationship evolves, so might your preferences.

Remember, the goal of this communication is not only to enhance your foreplay but to foster a deeper emotional connection. Sharing your desires and truly understanding your partner creates a space where you both can feel cherished, respected, and fulfilled.

Show her that you love her

A woman peacefully laying in bed, with a soft smile on her face.

Intimacy and connection are important components that allow many couples to experience better sex. The American Sociological Review found that women in relationships have almost seven times as many orgasms as women having sex with someone for the first time, which makes total sense when you take into consideration the additional benefits of being in a loving and monogamous relationship.

The very nature of sex makes it inherently personal for a woman and the intimacy and security of being with a loving partner can be central to how she relaxes and enjoys the experience. Demonstrating how much your partner means to you long before the physical aspect can have huge benefits. From preparing a delicious meal, organizing a trip to the movies, or going for a romantic stroll, shows how much you care about spending time together.

Try K-Y® lubes

An integral part of foreplay and intimacy stems from a woman’s natural bodily functions that happen when she is aroused. If your partner is struggling with vaginal dryness, it may make foreplay and intimacy less comfortable for both parties.

If vaginal dryness during foreplay is common for you and your partner, talk with them about adding to your intimacy with a K-Y® lube or pleasure gel. With many different types available, it can spice up your bedroom routine no end and allow you to explore different types of foreplay comfortably while feeling connected.

Foreplay tips to help her feel the emotional connection she needs

By complimenting her, communicating with her, and showing her that you love her you may find it easier to foster the emotional connection many women need during foreplay and intimacy. Ultimately, creating a better experience for her should create a more fulfilling experience for all parties involved, enhancing pleasure and feelings of closeness.

Want to learn even more about foreplay? Discover four exciting ways to upgrade your foreplay routine.


Psychology Today, 2015, The Orgasm Gap: Simple Truth & Sexual Solutions

Everyday Health, 2019, The Top 3 Secrets to Achieving a Female Orgasm

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