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How Intimacy Can Be Just As Important As Sex

sex and intimacy

Being in a long-term relationship can be a wonderful experience. Filled with amazing memories of days gone by as well as looking forward to what is to come in the future. Sex is, of course, a massive part of any partnership, whether it be long-term or just starting out.

But intimacy in marriage and an intimate relationship is something that we perhaps take for granted. After all, there’s a huge difference between sex and intimacy, even if both can be interlinked from time-to-time. With that in mind, we’re going to explore just how intimacy can be as important to a relationship as sex.


Sex & Intimacy Do Go Together

The first thing to note is that sex and intimacy do go hand-in-hand with each other but it’s sometimes difficult to bring the two together to form a connection, especially if you’ve been with your partner for quite some time. If you feel disconnected during sex, then perhaps it’s time to step back and think about what you truly want to achieve.

Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, intimacy has taken a backseat to sex, with the focus being much more on the animal instinct of intercourse, rather than the very human feeling of intimacy. Adam Wilder, creator of the world’s first Festival of Togetherness has suggested that the reason for this is because people are afraid of intimacy and taking off the mask that so many of us hide behind.

As much as we can link sex and intimacy together, it’s also possible to split them apart. Intimacy is much sweeter than just heading straight for intercourse; it’s a tender moment between two people who love each other and with that it has the ability to turn a bad day into a good one.


The Benefits of Hugging

Not only is hugging great to increase intimacy in a relationship, it has a range of health benefits too. A simple hug may boost the levels of oxytocin in the body, which can help alleviate feelings feelings of anger and isolation. Staying connected for a little longer may increase levels of serotonin. Serotonin helps elevate your mood and in turn, creates a feeling of happiness.

In a relationship, hugging encourages empathy and understanding and as a precursor to sex, it can be a great way to recognize your partner’s wants and needs. Forget animalistic urges, hugging is where the real magic starts.[1]


The Benefits of Kissing

Kissing is one of the most natural displays of affection that two people can show each other. Kissing is an incredibly intimate activity that acts as not only a tool for arousal, but increases attachment and bonding at the same time.

Some studies have also shown that kissing someone you care about can release increased levels of dopamine within the brain, making you crave kissing and that person in particular more and more. On a more animalistic level, kissing could also help us work out whether someone is a good match or not with it acting as a mechanism for mate assessment.

The way in which this becomes more intimate than say, just normal sex, is that it relies on a 50/50 split of power. Both parties have to be invested in kissing in order for it to work harmoniously. With millions of nerve endings and no protective tissue surrounding them, it’s easy to see why kissing is such a good show of intimacy.[2]


Take Time in the Bedroom

With our increasingly busy lives, it’s hard to find time to be intimate with our long-term partners and with the rise in electronic device usage, it can also be difficult to put them down long enough to connect on a physical level with your significant other.

Another issue that could reduce the chances of any intimacy may be premature ejaculation. A problem that reportedly affects 20-30 per cent of men in the United States, it’s an unfortunate complaint that lowers self-esteem massively and it’s easy to see why.[3]

K-Y® Duration™ Spray or Gel allows you and your partner to stay in the moment that little bit longer. The specially designed formula desensitizes the nerves at the tip of the penis to delay the climaxing process and help you and your partner share a little more intimate time together.

product image of K-Y Duration Male Genital Desensitizer Spray

After reading this article, we hope that you’ve understood the very subtle but significant differences between sex and intimacy and how combining the two together is important to a relationship. So, while both are important, with sex being a great way of connecting on a physical level and intimacy helping to forge emotional links, it’s the latter that can really change a relationship beyond recognition.



[1] Colino, Stacey “The Health Benefits of Hugging” U.S. News, February 3 2016 https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2016-02-03/the-health-benefits-of-hugging#close-modal

[2] Davis, Jeanie Lerche “What's So Great About Kissing?” WebMD, Undated https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/kissing-benefits#1

[3] “Treatment of premature ejaculation” Science Daily, March 2013 https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1879522613000055

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