You may not find it in the New York Times holiday guide, but a sex toy is a spot-on gift to give your significant other. If done right, gifting a sex toy hits every prong of the perfect present trifecta: thoughtful, useful, and, most importantly, fun. Here are a few things to keep in mind before giving one to your partner.
Talk about the pros of using sex toys
When you've been with someone long enough to complete each other's sentences, it's easy to fall into certain routines as a couple. A sex toy is an easy way to add some variety to your life. Such is the spice of life, right? Says psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Lori Buckley, "You can really benefit from having some sexual novelty and excitement in your life," noting, "as we get older, it takes more physical stimulation to get excited." Talk with your partner about the benefits of sex toys. If he seems responsive to your conversation, consider giving him one as a gift.
Consider your giftee
Listen, you know your partner. When choosing a sex toy to gift them, it's important to strike a balance between what you want and what you know they'll feel comfortable with. Sometimes this is one and the same. But sometimes it isn't, and that's OK, too. "If you think your partner is going to be nervous or reject your suggestion of using a sex toy, don't pop it out of a box after you're both naked," suggests relationship author and expert April Masini of AskApril.com. Rather, bring it up casually – say, over your morning coffee – if you think they'll need time to warm up to the idea.
Pick an ideal occasion
Breaking the ice can be as simple as picking the perfect occasion. Why not start with your anniversary? And since it's a decidedly sexy one, gifting your significant other a sex toy certainly lends itself to the occasion. There are several options if you are looking to spice up your sex life. A rabbit sex toy or bullet vibrator could provide the sensations you need.
Play to their personality
Gifting a sex toy in itself says that you are passionate about your partner and enjoy your exploration time together. Embrace that spirit of adventure by pandering to your partner's personality in a way that is original and thoughtful. Have you hitched your wagon to an avid golfer? Package a vibrator as part of a trio of presents that includes new tees and club covers. Don't be afraid to be playful. "If your sexual attitude is playful, then your sexual relationship will be more satisfying," emphasizes relationship and sex expert Stacy Rybchin
Although gifting your partner with a sex toy can bring you closer together and enhance your bond as a couple, the reality is your significant other may be reticent at first. As such, consider a staggered approach. If this is your first time bringing a sex toy in the bedroom, start with something discreet. Then, as your partner's comfort level grows, you can work your way up. There's much to be said for a slow build.
About the Author
A native of Charleston, S.C., Julie Sprankles has been writing professionally since 2003. She received a double Bachelor of Arts in English and communications from Charleston Southern University. Formerly editor-in-chief at award-winning shelter publication "Charleston Home + Design Magazine," Sprankles now enjoys writing and editing full-time.