not spending enough time with your partner

If you’re in a long-term relationship it can be easy to stop making the effort when it comes to sex and sexual activities. Complacency is something that affects even the strongest partnerships, but if sexual intimacy is a key component of your relationship it’s important to bring yourself out of that rut as quickly as possible.

With that in mind, it may be wise to invest a little more time in your sex life. We’ve put together a guide on how you can spend more quality time in the bedroom and banish that long-term slump for good.


Turn off your cellphone

Around three-quarters, (77%) of Americans own a smartphone, and 7 in 10 US citizens are now using social media (Pew Research Center, 2017). Those statistics may not shock you; we’re in the 21st Century after all. However, constant use of social media and phones can have a detrimental effect on a long-term relationship.

Instead, make a pact with your partner to schedule some ‘dark’ time. Turn off your cellphones and tablets, switch off the television and spark up some conversation. If this isn’t practical for whatever reason, plan an hour or so before you go to sleep in which you can chat about the day’s events from the comfort of your bed.


Schedule your intimate time

Busy people lead busy lives, and this can result in a stable relationship that doesn’t include sex at a frequency that both of you may like. If this sounds familiar, then perhaps scheduling your intimate encounters would be beneficial? People are often used to planning dinner dates and movie nights, but rarely apply the same rule to their sex lives.

Physical intimacy is just as important as a midweek date with your partner, so putting aside an evening in which you can be cheeky under the covers with each other could help get that spark back into your relationship.

"Complacency is something that affects even the strongest partnerships, but if sexual intimacy is a key component of your relationship it’s important to bring yourself out of that rut as quickly as possible."

Try an intimate massage

A good way to start off your intimate time together might be a mutual massage, using a product like K-Y® Touch® 2-in-1 Massage Crème & Pleasure Gel to stimulate each other’s bodies. As well as increasing flexibility, a benefit in the bedroom in itself, massage can also improve posture and relieve stress (AMTA, 2015). It’s also a great way to connect with your partner on an intimate level and a great way to start off an evening of romance.


Experience foreplay

If you’re in the habit of progressing quickly to penetrative intercourse, consider trying more or different foreplay as a precursor to sex. Not only will this mean you’ll be spending more time in the bedroom, but it’ll spice up your sex life by helping you try new things and learn more about your own body along with your partner’s likes and dislikes.

What you decide to do is ultimately your choice, but there’s a range of foreplay activities that you can try together. Whether it be to stimulate the senses of touch or taste, you can be guaranteed a longer intimate session with your lover. There are so many other activities to try in the bedroom that you could easily spend a full weekend exploring each other.


Experiment with food

When it comes to diet, there are certain foods that immediately spring to mind when thinking of planning a romantic evening in the bedroom. From strawberries and whipped cream to dark chocolate, there are numerous different foods that you can bring into your bedroom routine to spice it up a little. These foods, and many others, including oysters and perhaps more surprisingly watermelon, are known as aphrodisiacs (Organic Authority, undated).


Last longer with K-Y Duration Spray

Early climax, particularly in men, can be an issue that causes couples to spend less intimate time together. Perhaps surprisingly, premature ejaculation is a problem that around 20-30% of men in the US suffer from (Medical Daily, 2016).

If this is an issue for you, how to last longer in bed is a question that may have been playing on your mind. K-Y® Duration® Spray is a specially formulated spray which desensitizes the nerves that affect sexual sensitivity, helping to delay the sensation of climaxing temporarily, in turn allowing men to last longer before ejaculating. Even if premature ejaculation is not an issue, Duration Spray may be useful if you want to spend a lazy afternoon in bed together without peaking too soon.


How does K-Y Duration Spray work?

K-Y Duration Spray for Men is an endurance enhancer which can prolong the time until ejaculation to help you have more control and stay in the moment. The active ingredient, Lidocaine is an over the counter desensitizing agent, deemed safe by the FDA for the purpose of delaying ejaculation.


Most importantly… have fun!

We often put intense pressure on ourselves when it comes to sex and there really is no reason to. Sex should be a fun experience during which you learn more about your partner and their fantasies as well as exploring each other’s bodies. In long-term relationships communication is key, and it’s important to tackle any libido-related issues together, just as you would approach other relationship challenges. Discuss your desires and have fun trying out some of our helpful tips to rediscover that spark and connection that caused you to fall in love in the first place.




Pew Research Center (2017), Record Shares of Americans Now Own Smartphones, Have Home Broadband

Medical Daily (2016), Premature Ejaculation: 15 Facts About The Common Sexual Complaint

AMTA (2015), 25 Reasons To Get A Massage

Organic Authority (undated), 22 Aphrodisiac Foods: Boost Your Sex Drive, Deliciously! Let’s Get it On…in the Kitchen!!

Follow what feels good

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