Sex/life: How to Discover What Makes you Tick When it’s Time to have Sex

Congratulations. You’ve turned that corner into lady land where sex is top of mind. Maybe you’re just test driving your desire right now, but there’s a few ways where you can go from discoverer to conqueror/explorer in no time at all. Whether you’re single or shacked up, it’s all good. Here’s a few ways to spice up your life and learn all about what makes you happy.

Don’t be afraid of real intimacy. You may be on your phone and on your Instagram more often than not, but make time with your partner to experience each other phone free. Be in the moment and be mindful so you’re sure to uncover all the things you want out of sex.

No shame in your game. You may have questions that need answering or you may want to experience sex with multiple partners. It goes without saying that safety is first (always use a condom), but it’s important to take away the taboo from topics around sex and love every part of this journey. Get to know your own body and celebrate all of its quirks, imperfections, and abilities to give you pleasure sans shame.

It’s all about you. You might not know it now, but guess what? Your pleasure is every bit as important as is. As we close the gender gap in the workplace and beyond, it’s worth thinking about your own orgasm and how to prolong sex to get what you want and deserve. Make it about you from the get go and you’re going to love the results.

What’s the risk? It has never been more important to understand what’s consensual and what’s not. If you want to try something new and your partner is a no go, it’s ok. The same goes for you.  If you feel like living a fantasy or exploring something you’re curious about, it’s totally cool. Just make sure you’re comfortable with the situation and of course, be safe.

Educate yourself. Read books. Read blogs. Watch movies. Talk to your friends, colleagues, and maybe even your mom.  There are amazing resources out there on real talk when it comes to sex. Some of our favs? We love the cheeky wink of  millennial media fav Bustle who dispenses tips like playing the “clit clock”  game, where you imagine the clitoris is a clock to find out which “times” your partner likes most. And apps like Tabu and Juicebox, which gives personalized coaching on all things sex from the comfort of your touch screen.