One of the best things about being in a relationship is being able to get extra adventurous in the bedroom with someone you respect and trust. If you're looking for something to add to your sexual repertoire to spice things up with your partner, you should consider adding a third player to the mix. No, I don't mean a threesome – I'm talking about experimenting with sex toys.
I know what you might be thinking: Your vibrator is for your "private time." But using sex toys and having sex as a couple does not need to be mutually exclusive experiences. You can incorporate sex toys into your routine with your partner for what can prove to be intimate – and orgasmic – experiences. You don't need to relegate sex toys to the dark, dusty corners of your seldom-opened bedside table drawers. You can bring them out to see the light of day – or you know, your lamp-lit bedroom or the underside of your sheets – with your partner.
If you or your partner are daunted by the prospect of adding sex toys to the equation (because not everyone is going to immediately jump at the idea of pleasuring each other with a rubber accouterment) here are some tips to help you add some sexy accessories to the bedroom.
Discuss it first
When you're introducing new elements to your sex life, it's always best to first discuss them with your partner instead of just springing new toys on each other mid-foreplay. Communicating openly beforehand will lead to a much more comfortable, and enjoyable, experience.
Go online and search! There are all sorts of sex toys out there from the simple to the more involved. Whatever toys you can imagine probably exist, so do your research. You can also check out K-Y® vibrators, as well as K-Y® Yours + Mine®, which is actually two lubricants in one package, one created specifically for women and one for men.
There's nothing like a couple shopping for sex toys online to lighten the mood. Pop open a bottle of wine, grab the laptop and snuggle up on the couch to browse some online sex toys. The banter you'll have will probably be just as much fun as the sex.
When it comes to bringing a new "friend" home and incorporating it into your bedroom activities, be sure to keep communicating. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn't, and remember that you're in this together! If something doesn't work for you, there's absolutely no shame in speaking up – and there's definitely no shame in shouting out when it does work for you.
If you're in the position where you use condoms with your partner to stop spreading infection, then it's best to do the same with your sex toys. If you have a vibrator, put a new condom on it after each of you uses it. Likewise, you should thoroughly clean all your devices (warm, soapy water will do the trick) in between uses, which is probably going to be the least sexy thing you do with them.
Aim for mutual pleasure
Find sex toys that you can both enjoy because sex is best when you're both into the adventure. When you're researching, look for toys that promise mutual pleasure, so you and your partner can play together, or at least take turns. Sharing is most certainly caring.
Kat George is an Australian writer living in New York. She writes for Bustle, Vice, Refinery29, Noisey, The Village Voice and VH1. She is the author of the book "Pink Bits" and creator of the web series "The Big Gulp".