Ways to Show Your Love Languages
Everyone has a different way of showing love to a partner. And, therefore, everyone has a preferred way of being loved by a partner. In this way, love becomes a language all its own, allowing two people to communicate at a more intimate level.
While you can be compatible with your partner in a number of ways, your love language is likely the most important. You need not speak the same one, of course, but it's necessary to understand which one you speak and which one your partner speaks so you can each express your love for each other in the clearest way possible.
You can show your partner how you really feel in a number of ways. The first, most obvious one, is physical touch in the form of kisses, hugs, shoulder rubs, initiating sex or perhaps just a hand on the low back. Physical touch is an immediate and intimate way to show your partner love.
Personally, this is my own love language – I feel most loved when my husband shows me physical affection, and my way of returning the love is with a hand squeeze or a back scratch. Physical touch creates a literal connection between two partners and, for people like me, it instantly creates that loving feeling.
Another love language is through your words. These could be words of encouragement ("I believe in you"), affection ("I love you") or desire ("I want you"). While these sentiments are typically known, some people crave actually hearing their partners say these things. These words stir up positive emotions, making them truly feel more loved.
For others, actions speak louder than words. Their love language is through romantic gestures like lighting candles, spreading rose petals over their bed or writing amorous poetry for their partners. Performing these gestures makes them feel more loving toward a partner and, in turn, the partner may feel more loved as a result.
But actions don't need to be romantic to be loving. Some people show their devotion to their partners with thoughtful acts like taking out the trash, cooking dinners their partners would enjoy, taking the dog out or simply turning the coffee pot on in the morning. These small acts have big impact when your partner speaks this love language.
Even just setting aside time for your partner, whether it's a date night or a weekend afternoon, can be a love language. You're showing your partner that he is a priority to you and that you value having quality time together.
Once you have a better idea of the love languages you and your partner each speak (if not the same one), you can shift how you each show your affection to ultimately make each other feel even more loved. While you don't need to outright abandon your own love language – how you show love makes you who you are – you may adapt your style to better accommodate how your partner prefers to be loved. For example, if your love language is more action-based and your partner is more word-based, be sure to affirm your partner by speaking your love more often than you might normally do otherwise.
It may take time to find the right balance, but just a simple understanding of each of your love languages can lead to a stronger and more devoted partnership.
- The Five Love Languages: Discover Your Love Language
- MindBodyGreen: 4 Surefire Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Loved
Journalist Natasha Burton has written for Cosmopolitan for Latinas, Maxim, Cosmopolitan.com, and WomansDay.com, among others. The author of "101 Quizzes for Couples" and "The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags," she is regularly called on as a relationship expert by various media outlets around the world.