How To Masturbate: Best Tips For Solo Play

Men or women, young or old, gay or straight, (almost) everyone masturbates. According to the research, 95% of men and 94.5% of women report that they’ve masturbated.^1,2  Plus, they’re doing it often. According to one study, 67% of men reported masturbating within the past week and 26.8% of women reported masturbating 2 or 3 times per week.^3,2 

Are you wondering about masturbation? You’ve come to the right place. Read on for our guide to masturbation, how to masturbate, and our best tips for solo play. Or, use the links below to jump ahead to a section of your choosing. 

• What Is Masturbation?
• Benefits of Masturbation
• Masturbation Techniques
• Best Ways to Masturbate
• Tips for Better Solo Play
• Safety and Hygiene
• Conclusion

What Is Masturbation?

Whether you refer to it as masturbation, self-pleasuring, or even jerking off, masturbation is the act of touching your body for sexual pleasure. It’s the act of achieving sexual arousal to feel pleasure and, in many cases, achieve an orgasm. Despite its social taboos, masturbation is an extremely normal part of life. Masturbation may begin as young as childhood and continue on throughout adulthood and even later years in life.

Benefits of Masturbation

Not only is masturbation a perfectly normal practice, but it’s also rich with benefits, too. Science shows that masturbation has a wealth of physical and emotional benefits:

• It’s safe: Masturbation is a very safe form of sex that has an extremely low risk of contracting STIs and has no risk of accidental pregnancy.
• It can improve your mood: When you masturbate, your brain releases endorphins, leaving you feeling happy and physically good.
• It lowers stress: Orgasming releases hormones including dopamine and oxytocin, which counteract the stress hormone cortisol.⁴
• It can help you sleep: Many find that the endorphins released during masturbation make them feel relaxed and sleepy.⁵
• It helps you learn about yourself: Masturbation helps many people understand what they like and dislike, as well as what feels good and what doesn’t.
• It can make sex better: Those who learn about themselves through masturbation can take their learnings to their partner to improve their sex as a couple.
• It can help sexual dysfunction: Women who are unable to orgasm can use masturbation as a technique to learn how. Men who experience premature ejaculation can learn greater control via masturbation.⁶
• It may lower your risk of prostate cancer: Studies have shown a correlation between regular ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer. It’s possible that ejaculation prevents the build-up of cancerous agents in the prostate.⁴

Masturbation Techniques

Ready to give masturbation a go? Here are our best masturbation techniques for a pleasurable and satisfying experience.

How To Masturbate

When it comes down to it, there is no wrong way to masturbate. Any way that you touch yourself that feels good is proper masturbation. Typically, masturbation is done by stroking, rubbing, or touching your penis or clitoris in a rhythmic motion. Many focus on doing so until they reach orgasm, but orgasm is not necessary for the act to be considered masturbation. 

The best way to learn how to masturbate is by trying different things. Experiment with touching yourself in different ways, exploring different rhythms, and more. If it feels good, it is good. In time, you’ll learn the best way to jerk off for you. 

Masturbation Techniques for Women

Some women may find masturbating to be more difficult than men. The vagina is a complex organ with many different parts, some of which may feel good and others which may not. Female genitals are composed of several parts, including the vulva, which is the outer area that includes the labia lips, clitoris, and the opening to the vagina. The vagina is the muscle before the cervix that opens and closes.

While much of the focus on female sex organs is on the vagina, the center of pleasure for women is centered on the clitoris, which is at the top of the vulva. Most women find that stimulating the clitoris is the best way to achieve orgasm. 

Practice different ways of touching yourself. You may find that making direct contact with your clitoris feels too intense, or that may be the way you derive pleasure. Masturbation techniques for women may include rubbing, pinching, or squeezing areas like the clitoris or labia lips. Once relaxed, sliding a finger or a toy like a dildo or vibrator into the vagina can open you up to new sensations. Try different things and find out what works best for you. 

Best Ways to Masturbate

Wondering about the best ways to jerk off? Each person has their own likes and dislikes. Try the following and see what works best for you. 

Techniques for Enhanced Pleasure

Even for the most experienced masturbators, there are always new frontiers to explore. Next time you’re having solo sex, try these masturbation techniques for enhanced pleasure: 

• Change positions: Masturbation doesn’t always need to be done on your back. Try different positions, like sitting up, leaning against a wall, or facing down. New positions mean new angles, and that may result in new pleasures.
• Try new motions: Penis or vagina, you may find yourself tending toward an up and down motion. Try something different, like a different number of fingers, different patterns, or a new twist.
• Explore the rest of your body: Man or woman, we all have a range of erogenous zones. These are areas that stimulate sexual pleasure, like nipples, hips, thighs, the neck, and anywhere else that feels pleasurable to touch. Experiment with alternating between touching your penis or clitoris and touching your erogenous zones. 
• Put your hips into it: Double the pleasure by doubling your motions. Rock your hips back and forth while touching yourself for enhanced sensation. 

Using Lubricants and Toys

Take your pleasure even further by expanding your masturbation arsenal. Sexual lubricants can increase pleasure by reducing friction and combating vaginal dryness. Some even come with added bonuses, like a warming sensation. 

Many also find that sex toys take solo play to the next level. For men, vibrating toys and sleeves are popular for exploring new sensations, while women can turn to toys like vibrators and dildos. Visit your local sex shop and see which toys catch your eye. Experimenting with different toys may unlock new sensations and help you achieve deeper pleasure. 

Tips for Better Solo Play

Looking for even more masturbation tips? Try these to make jerking off better. 

Finding Your Rhythm

Not everyone finds pleasure in the classic up and down. Explore different rhythms, like moving more quickly or more slowly than normal. You may want to alternate between fast and slow or take breaks altogether. You can also explore different levels of pressure or try a different number of fingers. Experimentation will help you find what works best for you. 

Experimenting with Different Methods

The only way to find out what feels good is to try different things. Set your judgment aside, and remember that all forms of exploration are normal. Once you’re able to release yourself from judgment, you’ll find that the pleasure you receive makes jerking off even better. 

For men or people with penises, you can experiment with different grips and speeds, as well as pressure. You may also find that lube takes the sensations up a notch for even more pleasure.

For women and people with vaginas, you can also play with different methods. Play with and rub the outer regions of your genitals, such as the labia lips or clitoris. Many also find that toys, such as vibrators, provide enough stimulation to achieve a climax.

Creating the Ideal Environment

Even when you’re having sex solo, the mood is still important. Make sure you have enough privacy to feel safe, dim the lights or light a candle, and get comfortable. You might find that creating the perfect playlist of sexy songs really gets you in the mood. This is your time, and it should be enjoyed. 

Exploring Sexual Fantasies

Masturbation is the perfect opportunity for self-discovery. What sexual fantasies have popped into your head lately? Masturbation is the perfect time to safely and comfortably explore these fantasies. Not only can this enhance your pleasure, but it may improve your sex life, too. Next time you and your partner are together, you may want to introduce certain fantasies for the two of you to explore together. 

Some common sexual fantasies that may pique your interest include BDSM, role-playing, experimenting with multiple partners, cuckolding, and voyeurism. Take time to explore what interests you and let your imagination run free for the ultimate solo experience.

Safety and Hygiene

Safety and hygiene are key when learning how to masturbate. Follow these tips for safe and clean masturbation. 

Maintaining Cleanliness

Sexual organs are sensitive and should be treated as such. In order to make cleanliness a part of your masturbation routine: 

• Wash your hands before masturbating: This will help limit the transfer of any bacteria to your genital area, which could cause infections. 
• Keep your nails trimmed: Not only can masturbating with long nails be painful, but dirt and other bacteria can get trapped under your fingernails. Keep them short to minimize exposure.
• Wash your toys after each use: No matter which sex toys you use during masturbation, it’s important to clean them between every use to keep yourself safe. 

Avoiding Common Mistakes

There’s no real way to do it wrong, but avoid these common mistakes to increase your pleasure: 

• Focusing on orgasm: Sometimes, orgasm simply isn't possible. Focusing too much on this “goal” can leave you feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. Instead, relax and stay present.
• Skipping the lube: Even with solo sex, lube can be a great addition, especially for those who experience vaginal dryness. 
• Judging yourself: Having preconceived notions about what you should and shouldn't do only hurts one person: you. Let go of expectations and taboos and enjoy yourself. 

Conclusion

Now that you have read this guide, you should understand better how much fun masturbation is and how it can be a great health and mental benefit, as well as boosting your sex life. The most important part to remember is that there is no right or wrong way to masturbate, meaning that you should be open and listen to your body, experiment with different techniques, and be patient as you bring yourself to climax. The best part? Aside from a short refractory period — longer for men than women — you can masturbate as much and as long as you like. If you want to try now, make sure you invest in a K-Y^® lube to make it enjoyable. 

Resources

1. National Institute of Health, 2020, Abstinence from Masturbation and Hypersexuality
2. Science Direct, 2019, Masturbatory Behavior in a Population Sample of German Women
3. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 2015, Masturbation and Pornography Use Among Coupled Heterosexual Men With Decreased Sexual Desire: How Many Roles of Masturbation?
4. Cleveland Clinic. “Masturbation.” Cleveland Clinic, https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/24332-masturbation. Accessed 14 Oct. 2024.
5. Planned Parenthood. “Six Reasons Masturbation Is Good for You.” Planned Parenthood, https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/six-reasons-masturbation-is-good-for-you. Accessed 14 Oct. 2024.
6. Sexual Health Victoria. “Masturbation.” Sexual Health Victoria, https://shvic.org.au/for-you/reproductive-and-sexual-health/masturbation. Accessed 14 Oct. 2024.