Many times, our heads are in other places, and it may take a moment to be “in the moment,” fully focused on connecting with your partner. Think of intimacy as a dance. Couples must warm up before diving into the performance. If care is put in beforehand, the execution is more successful. You can dance the night away by avoiding these 5 foreplay don'ts.
Don't skip it
When you're aroused, the temptation may be strong to skip right to the good stuff. But remember, foreplay is the good stuff too. Foreplay does play a major role in creating a connection and strengthening the bond between two people. It allows you both a chance to get on the same page and to ease into the mood.
Don't rush it
If you start to speed up the foreplay process, don't worry – simply take a deep breath and start over. Take your time undressing. Kiss slowly. Let your fingers linger on your partner's body. Make eye contact. Gradually explore erogenous zones. Tease and taunt. Whisper your desires in his ear. Smile seductively. After all, you're just warming up.
Once you get started, it can be tempting to skip ahead. But remember to take your time, even once you are undressed.
Don't underestimate the power of teasing
Foreplay can start early on in your evening, hours before you make it back to your bedroom. While you're at dinner, allow your partner to covertly catch a glimpse of your new lace garter. Send him a suggestive text before he gets home to get his mind moving away from work and directed toward you.
If you’re wanting to tease your girl, why not give her a cheeky kiss when she is least expecting it. You could even send her a sexy text, but there are many other ways to seduce your spouse before your evening of romance.
Don't be unprepared
When you spend a great deal of care and attention gradually building up excitement during foreplay, it would be a shame to lose momentum. Using K-Y lubricant gels is a convenient and easy way to prolong lubrication, allowing you to add some variety to your foreplay. Being prepared gives you peace of mind so you can direct your energy to the task at hand.
If you have never used lube with your partner before, there are many ways to introduce lube into the bedroom. Have a chat about how you want to spice things up during foreplay and they will only be left wanting more!
Don't focus on only one area
Erogenous zones are located all over the body. You'd be doing a great disservice by focusing on only one or two spots. Instead, explore many or several at a time. For example, while you're kissing, use your fingers to gently rub his head, then the nape of his neck and on to tracing the curves of his back. Paying close attention to these subtle details shows you care, heightens passion and brings you closer together.
You could even ask your partner if there is a certain area they liked to be touched most. This way you make them feel more special and really enjoy the experience. Similarly, you can talk to your partner about your favorite erogenous zones.
So, there you have it, our top tips for what not to do during foreplay. But the most important tip is to be protected and have fun!
About the Author
Zoe Wilder is a writer with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature from the College of William & Mary, and a Master of Social Work from Fordham University. Her work has been published in The Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Kinkly, MindBodyGreen, URB,‘SUP Magazine, Vault, Brooklyn Exposed, and Thought Catalog.